Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A Good Thing


Project Humanity -- "Go Forth And Multiply"

I have this project I've been working on since I was a kid.  I'm going to change the world.  I know -- a lot of kids have an *idea* that they would like to change some things in the world, and maybe kids naively believe they *can* change the world.  It seems that our society is all built around watching and enjoying children for what they are at the time, yet slowly trying to build a protective shell around that child by telling them they shouldn't do this or that, can't do this or that, or won't do this or that.  Adults say "Aww, that's such a nice idea for you to have sweetheart.  You might not be able to get the whole world to agree with you, but I still think it's a nice idea."

I wonder how many amazing things we have missed out on as a species because some kid who had an amazing idea that would have absolutely changed the entire world for the better was taught that he couldn't do it, or was encouraged not to even try because his parents were too concerned that he might get his hopes up and then fail.  I think that is one of feelings we avoid most in our lives -- watching someone we deeply love try to do something over and over again and just get more and more disappointed in themselves.  If you've ever truly loved someone and given them a gift because you knew they deeply wanted it -- and then watched that gift break or even worse watch that gift do nothing for them except frustrate them, you know what I mean.

And it is for that simple reason that I *know* that I'm going to change the world.  I know it because God gave me a gift -- because he loves me, and he loves you, and so he gave this gift to the right people, I'm sure there are others like me out there who have this gift like I do -- and I'm sure that by putting this out there on the internet, I will find others or they will find me and we will be able to change the world together.

I know this because I know God.  I know God really well.  God gave me a powerful gift and he's watched that gift bring me and those around me nothing but frustration -- and everyone including me has gotten frustrated or angry with God as a result for having given me such gifts and not given me a way to apply them effectively -- but you see? There's the rub.  He *did* give me everything I needed to apply them effectively and get this project done -- including a protracted but temporary belief that I shouldn't even try because I wouldn't be able to do it.

God allowed me to believe myself to be a failure long enough for me to realize that I simply cannot fail.  I used to not fail by avoiding starting -- but that was just because I was scared to succeed and scared to fail.  I have realized that i must put all thoughts of failure out of my mind and begin trying with all of my might -- and when I do that i know that I will succeed -- I must, for there is no other way.

Every second of every day is an opportunity to stand still, take a step forward, take a step backwards, or move towards a side.  We don't realize the depth of that because we assume that the rest of the world isn't *also* making that decision consciously -- they're just "going through the motions" -- and many of the people and things around us are indeed just going through the motions.  But there are at least a few out there who have realized that every moment is a choice and every choice is simply a decision yet to be made -- and not making a decision in a moment *is* making a decision.  When you choose not to make a decision in a moment you decide to pause and every pause or lack of pause is decisive, like it or not.

Every single mistake I thought I made -- every time I screwed up royally in an endeavor along the way has brought me to today.  I know that I correctly navigated the decision points that were in front of me at the time, and in the process of doing so, I made the right mistakes so far because I'm still here, alive, and being given chance after chance after chance to improve my decision-making ability.

I can mentally compare my current results to those results I was getting even a month ago and see that I have improved.  One law holds true here:  If I am making progressively better decisions (decisions whose resultant outcomes directly related to the decision match or exceed in the positive the stated desired result / intention of making the decision in the first place) more often than I am making poor decisions (decisions whose resultant outcomes directly related to the decision do not match or exceed in the negative the stated desired results / intention of making those decisions in the first place) then consistent better decision-making is in play.  Consistent better decision-making does not come into play when one is walking into one's own hell, and improving one's decision-making skills is one of the things one has to begin to do to start your walk out of your own personal hell.

So, that means that I am at least past the middle, and I am walking out.  Which is a good thing.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Please feel free to comment -- abusive, rude, derisive or just plain dumb comments will probably be nuked.